How to deal with my horrible mother?

So my mother complains all the time that she does not have anyone to take care of her and pamper atleast one whole day (since my parents are divorced she gets very lonely). So I decided to cook for her and give her a break from the kitchen for today and start cooking. To be honest I hate the kitchen and I hate to cook but I somehow bring myself to do it. So I start...and since I dont cook too often I happen to take longer than what she would take to cook the same thing..Obviously. So just when I'm about done, she yells from the bedroom (where is is just lazing around) if I'm planning on providing her with breakfast or dinner because I'm taking so long! I'm like I'm done, here it is. She is so unhappy and starts eating and complaining about how long I took to make it and how I am so slow and how I still have to learn to do things right and how I'm incapable of providing her a happy breakfast etc...etc. At this point my blood is boiling....On top of making her breakfast and trying to do something nice, this ***** wants to complain on how I could not do it according to her standards! I just want to scream and say SCREW YOU *****, YOU DESERVE NOTHING! But instead I control my temper and tell her to stop nagging for which she explodes like a latent volcano and starts yelling at me and throwing stuff and acting like a psychotic poodle! I try to reason with her and tell her to calm down and she slaps me!!!!!!! At this point I lose my temper and start yelling too (I really wanted to slap her back but obviously I can't slap my mom). She tells me I'm a ***** and needs to be treated like one and she will make sure she will put me in my place blah blah...She says this was the reason my dad does not like me. WOW. I mean really?? My dad (another son of a gun) din't care about her and left her and because i was closer to her left me too) but to bring this on me like this and that too for what..trying to make her bloody breakfast??!! I had to remind her that he left her too and not just me. Now she is not talking to me and still is fuming and calling me names. So who is right...me or her? What should I do? I do not want to live with this devil of a woman anymore. Any ideas?